Current mood:

unlimited bitterness

D&D Excerpt #21
GM: Last week was pretty uneventful. If you have nothing else better to do you could avenge your fallen comrade!
Verian: We pretty much all wanted to anyway.
GM: You have a spontaneous raging desire to avenge your favorite NPC ever...
Balcoth: I'm the only one who even knew him. [Omit's (the player's) original character was retired around that time so that he could try out Omit (the character we all know). Not that the current Elocating-Archer Omit bears any resemblance to the original, Shadow-Dancing stealth-assassin pre-nerf character. All other characters from that time have died.]
Azheron: Maybe if there were ANY other likeable NPCs...
GM: I'd like it you liked more NPCs too.
Ahzeron: Oh, of course. That's why you make all guards like "Halt shorty! We wish to take your armor and question you."
GM: It never starts that way! It's always "Hello good sir. What is your business in the city?", to which you respond [Dwarf voice] "I'm going to rip off your head an Sh** down your neck!"
Azheron: Well it definitely never starts THAT way anyway.
Balcoth: That's not how I react.
Omit: I bet there are five people in the room who don't think that's true, GM.
Verian: Whenever any town is handled in a non-abstract way we are harrassed endlessly by every guard, peasant and merchant...
Azheron: And by the clerics of "bow down and praise OUR god..."
Verian: "Join the church of scientology."
GM: Well I'm going to dispense with the usual Interrogation Phase this week. Instead, I want each of you to ask me one question.
Azheron: Are you sure?
GM: Yes. [Then he realizes that Azheron meant for that to be his one question. GM is not so amused.] Balcoth: what would you like to ask me?
Balcoth: You don't know anything about anything. What would I want to ask you about?

Click here for unlimited bitterness!