Current mood:

I WISH I were cold right now

D&D in brief; again.
Here are some brief excerpts from last Saturday's D&D session, based on my frantic notetaking, and paraphrased slightly only because my memory is not flawless.

[The following RPG gaming-session account uses character names rather than the names of the actual players in order to protect their identities, so that I don't have to ask their permission.]

[During the initial startup phase:]
GM: So Azheron, as a "Favored Soul of Heironeous" [Ed: a God of Valor] what do you do?
Azheron: I seek out and battle evil wherever I find it, and I, uh, spead the Good Word of Heironeous to those who do not... uh... know of his... Good Word.
GM: And what sort of teachings do you spread, exactly?
Azheron: The Knowledge[Religion] skill isn't actually on my class' skill list, so I wouldn't know.
GM: Ha. Ha. Alright, Balcoth: have you given any further thought to the matter of the Blink spell VS the Uncanny Dodge class ability?
Balcoth: Well, first off, if Uncanny Dodge allows you to be aware of any attacker, even invisible ones, then why would it work against against an opponent who is invisible ALL the time, but not against an opponent who is THERE half the time and only NOT there for half of the time. Secondly, it makes no sense and it's stupid.
GM: Well it would be hard to argue with that. This is your game as much as mine, so we'll put it to a vote. Although in practice, I think it's a situation that is unlikely to come up very often. Okay, what do you all think?

[Ahzeron votes in favor of the change (to make Uncanny Dodge defeat the defense penalties of being attacked by a Blinking opponent), as does Balcoth. Verian Seth abstains, claiming it doesn't much matter. Omit, based on his intimate familiarity with the game rulings and errata, votes against the change, because according to the game developpers, Blink should win out. GM gratiously implements the change based on the voting.]

Balcoth: That's good, because I got this ability and it ought to work: I didn't take like 4 levels of the Dwarven Defender class just to get "Trap Sense: +1".
GM: Yes, because otherwise the Dwarven Defender class "gives you nothing", just Armor bonuses, better hit points and saves, and its just about the best possible class for a Dwarf.
Verian Seth: Unless he'd be better off with Dwarven Cleric Racial Substitution Levels.
GM: [Accompanied by fiersome glare] Unless Verian Seth would like to know what D4s taste like.

(Ed: Racial Class Substitution levels are alternate forms of basic classes tailored to the specific character race. Found only "less-mainstream" sourcebooks, they tend to be more powerful for no good reason, but the Dwarven Cleric mod was particularly unbalanced in its all-around superiority. Now, GM would obviously just ban such an aberation, but clearly Balcoth is unaware of such things and would probably be very interested - thus GM is much happier if nobody puts the idea in Balcoth's head. BTW: D4s are the little pointy pyramiddal dice.)

GM: ANYHOW, Balcoth, could you tell us what was happening when we left off last week?
Balcoth: No.
Verian Seth: Didn't you say last week that we were going to try to get started faster this time?
GM: This IS going through it faster...

[Later that evening, the adventurers are going through the secret catacombs that they discovered hidden beneath the temple the previous week - yes, we do ADVENTURE sometimes. We come across a room with a 5-foot diameter vertical shaft leading down 120 feet, with ladders down one side. A torch dropped down the hole helped reveal the depth, but struck water at the bottom and went out with a faint splash. Verian Seth (who rarely touches the ground, thanks to his psionic flight powers) and Ahzeron descend most of the way down, and determine that the shaft opens down into a spherical room of about 20' radius filled nearly to the top with water (which our light sources of course do not penetrate).

Verian Seth: We aren't really prepared for underwater combat and exploration right now.
Balcoth: Can I borrow the calculator? It's a 20 foot radius, or diameter?
Ahzeron: Radius.
Verian Seth: 3pi r-cubed...
Ahzeron: Actually its 4/3pi r-cubed.
Verian Seth: Oh yeah. Oops.
Balcoth: I think it's had its day.
GM: You broke my calculator?
Balcoth: No.
GM: Arg. What are you guys doing anyway?
OMIT: They're trying to determine the volume of water in the sphere.
Verian Seth: Balcoth has a Dust of Dryness.
Balcoth: Oh here, it's working again. Hey, I paid 1700 gold for two of these; one containing 100 gallons of water in a tiny little marble, the other empty.
GM: You want to absorb all the water into Dust of Dryness.?
Verian Seth: It's like that Brawny paper towel from the Simpsons. [Makes annoying sucking noise]
Omit: It can't hold nearly enough, there's way more than 100 gallons in there.
Balcoth: 1600 x 400... okay nevermind.
Verian Seth: I don't suppose you learned Part Water, eh Ahzeron?
Ahzeron: No, but if I gain two levels, and swap out one of my current spells for it... Not gonna happen.
Verian Seth: Cause it'd be like Moses.
Balcoth: We need a really long vynil tube...
Ahzeron: You can't snorkel more than a foot or two. It's physically impossible. You end up just rebreathing the same air.
Balcoth: But I could just move the tube every few breaths. Besides, I don't have to exhale INTO the tube, just inhale from it.
Ahzeron: No, it doesn't matter. Your lungs don't have to force to suck in air from more than a foot or two away.
Balcoth: I'll just suck harder.

[Naturally, faced with this obstacle, they heroicaly declare "screw that" and decide to search for another path through the dungeon. With Omit and the more solid-ground-loving Balcoth safely up above the shaft, however, we have one more thing to do.]


Verian Seth: I'll position myself 50' up from the bottom and cast Energy Stun into the water. Just to see if anything NOT electricity-immune is in there.
GM: Just before the sphere of energy hits the water, it stops - it simply disappears without effect.
Verian Seth: Okay, what could have stopped it?
Omit: [Shrugs. He really talks a lot, eh?]
Verian Seth: [Is this player talking to himself, or to the other guys?] It can't be a 20' radius Otiluke's Resilient Sphere, because it doesn't stop physical objects like the torch. And it can't be Otiluke's Dispelling Screen because it is banned.
Ahzeron: An Antimagic Sphere?
GM: No, and BTW, it and all its variants are banned.
Omit: [Doesn't actually SAY anything, but shoots a glance that just screams out "SOMETHING IS BANNED? WHAT A SHOCK!"]
Ahzeron: How big is a Minor Globe?
Verian Seth: Die, Minor Globe of Invulnerability! [Dispels the Minor Globe that was shielding the area from low-level spells].
GM: A lightening bolt shoots straight out of the water. Those of you still in the shaft take 36 damage, with a Reflex save for half.
Verian Seth: Ow.
Balcoth: What we need is quick-dry cement. Or we could just pee down the hole.
Omit: Hahaha, that's great. I'm doing that.
Verian Seth: Well wait till we get out!
Omit: Fine. I'll ready my action.
Verian Seth: You're readied to "piss on the monster."
Omit: Yep.

After that, the situation got weird. Ahzeron and Verian Seth yo-yoed up and down the shaft, climbing ladders, having ladders fireballed by the Naga down below us in the water, climbing ropes (dropped down by Balcoth and Omit), having ropes fireballed by the Naga as well, with Ahzeron casting Air Walk on himself to gain elevation, only to have it dispelled again and again. Finally, Ahzeron cast Righteous Might on himself, the divine power granting him increased size (so that instead of falling he more-or-less filled the shaft, allowing him to crawl up or even pause in place without risk of falling. By the time THAT was dispelled, he was in easy range of Balcoth's 30-foot length of heavy chain and the others managed to pull him up. Safely outside the maximum range of the Naga spellcasting, Omit... takes his readied action, and Balcoth... opens the "rear hatch" in his full plate armor.

But that's enough reporting for this week. I need to go to bed.