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Tell it like it is! ...er was!

D&D Excerpts 5: Demon, not Devil. Learn the difference...
Here is another in my series of brief excerpts Saturday D&D sessions. This time, you'll have to forgive a certain added level of potential inaccuracies and more paraphrasing than usual due to the EXTREMELY POOR quality of my notetaking last Saturday. This Sat's notes (for the next one) should be much more useful... I think...

[The following RPG gaming-session account uses character names rather than the names of the actual players in order to protect their identities, so that I don't have to ask their permission.]

GM: First off, I have a couple balance changes to announce. The druid spell Animal Growth is banned.

[Blank looks from Azheron, Balcoth and Verian Seth. The spell has never been cast (and being a druid spell, probably never even looked at) throughout the entire campaign.]

GM: [Continues: ] It was just too insane. Now, after some consideration, I am going to adjust the Vrocks Telekinesis ability to be only 3 times per day, rather than at will. It is a very high level spell for a monster of their CR. That should also mitigate the concerns some of you had about being fly-kited with Telekinesis. Unless anyone has any objections...

[Like the players were going to object to making a hated enemy weaker...]

Azheron: [The character, Azheron, died the previous week. His new character is named Malevaune, however for consistency, I will continue to refer to the player as Azheron] ...okay, while you are balancing things, how about putting a limit on their Mirror Image castings. 3-times, 6-times per day, whatever. Just so there is a finite limit.
GM: I don't consider that power to be a problem. You guys make too big a deal of it. [Admittedly, this is very paraphrased. I can't remember and didn't note exactly how this discussion went...]

Our dedicated band of cohesive gamers is one again embroiled in THE SAME argument about the brokenness VS irrelevancy (depending on who's talking) of Vrock demons and their Mirror-Image-at-will power. You guys don't need to hear that all again. After a while...

GM: I am sympathetic to your plight, but...
Balcoth: No you're not! You said you're not.
GM: [Looks sour] Look, I only make these changes to improve the game for everyone. I've been so tempted to whip out Animal Growth against you guys, but I haven't, because it's just too broken. If a druid ever grew his animal companion, and you guys were being shredded by a Gargantuan bear [Ed: that's actually a technical term for a creature's size class. Humans are Medium. Most bears are Large. An Elephant is Huge. Gargantuan is one size up from huge.]... but I'm banning that spell so it won't destroy the game.
Azheron: Oh yeah, and the armor-enchantment "changes" really helped us lower our Armor Class...


[Ed: I didn't take notes on that part of the discussion, because its old familiar territory and not very exciting. Summary: PLAYERS NO LIKE ARMOR NERF. GM made the change around level 3 because he saw how easily the players could get their AC up high enough that 80% of enemies (of the appropriate levels) from the Monstrous Manual wouldn't be able to hit them. Players think that he slipped through the change with very little complaint from the playes because they weren't yet rich enough for a limitation on expensive magic to affect them much, and now feel that in the level 10 plus game they are being unfairly penalized. GM feels that without the change, the game would now be fairly unplayable as only dragons and elementals would be able to hit certain PCs. And on the argument goes. I didn't expect the discussion to continue on in any direction worth recording, but after a while...]

Verian Seth: ...Removing the dwarven trip bonus... [Saying this, he suddenly realizes how potentially explosive this statement could be, and looks over at Balcoth, the dwarf master. Balcoth does respond, but his mind is on other things and he does not get drawn into a hate-spiral.]
Balcoth: And then suddenly every enemy in the next three sessions has four scrub minions with polearms surrounding me and making trip attacks.
GM: [GM is pondering how to respond; he feels the change is perfectly reasonable (dwarves already have a million powers, and a +4 is a very large bonus, even if it is just to defensive trip checks. However, he is at a loss for how to turn that "negative" into a positive to tell the players.)]
Azheron: [It is difficult to say if he brought this one up with a mind to further provoking Balcoth, who is a consummate full plate user...] Or the full plate change.
GM: [Sees this as an opening...] By changing full plate [Ed: from +8 AC with max +1 from Dex, to +7 AC with max +2] you can still get just as much armor class, plus you don't have to worry about every fighter-type enemy having 12 Dex.

The implication is that, in order to get the same benefit from the modified (actually d20 L5R setting-style) full plate, the enemies would now be forced to spend more stat points, bringing up their Dexterity ability score to 14 for the +2 bonus, instead of spending those stat points elsewhere, such as more strength.

Verian Seth: Except that with the "Magic Armor Nerf", that lowers our fighters' armor class by another one or two, and limits all characters to using either full plate or chain-shirt armor.
GM: How so?
Verian Seth: Well, with the change, armor and shields AC bonus can only be enhanced up to one-half the armor's base AC. Because you round down, reducing the AC from 8 to 7 means full plate can only be enchanted up to +3 under your system, where it would otherwise be +4. But since any other armor that people would wear can only be enchanted up to +2, it means that the only armor other than full plate worth wearing is a chain shirt, which can still be enchanted to +2, allows the most Dexterity, and counts as light armor.
Omit: Also, almost every fighter-type we've fought has been using half-plate. +6 AC and Zero dex allowed, which they can still enchant by +3, and allowing the enemies to use only 10 Dex, which gives them more points to put into Strength or Con.
GM: I like Half Plate. It's efficient. It also sells for a lot less than full plate, and weighs a lot, so you guys don't always haul it with you. It helps me avoid giving you too much treasure.

And the back and forth of "nerf-and-benefit" continues...

Verian Seth: Then there's the Cloaks of Resistance.
GM: You can still buy them at double book-price. And they're still too good.
Balcoth: You just don't want us to have them because you don't want us to cut the head off your [spell]casters.
GM: The spell Silence. You can't tell me that was a positive contribution to the game.
Azheron: Okay, Silence was a little strong.
GM: The power attack change was needed, so that we don't have giants Cleaving Azherons. [Cleave is a feat that allows you to follow through and make a free attack whenever you fell an enemy in melee.]
Azheron: Or vice versa. [Ed: okay, my notes don't tell me what was said there, and I don't remember. But that would have been a really clever answer, since Power Attack (using two-handed weapons) has to be Azheron's favorite feat. And it should be noted that he was already killed by a giant at least once in the campaign.]
GM: I limited the choice of energy type on all those psionic powers so that enemies couldn't use them to get around all your protections as easily.
Balcoth: You mean so your creatures wouldn't all die instantly! [Verian Seth is the only one really affected by this change, which forced him to choose for each of his "nuke" spells only 2 damage types, whereas normally the psionic energy powers give a choice of 4 different energy types. Balcoth is not always a fan of wizard-ey characters and their pansy hide-and-run ways, but he has a certain soft spot in his heart for allies who occasinally vaporise annoying monsters...]
GM: I changed Blink to be trumped by Uncanny Dodge due to popular concensus...
Balcoth: Yeah, AFTER the fact...
GM: And I eliminated certain broken prestige classes, plus I changed all the rogue ones by setting the first sneak-attack increase back by one level, which saved you from running into any enemies with 8- or 9d6 sneak attack. Because that's what everyone would do.
Azheron: Not necessarily a bad change.
GM: NONE of them are bad changes!
Balcoth: Maybe in the mind of a Vrock...


Because GM wants to get Azheron back into the action, and because he percieves us as having a great need for a healer for our group to function, on this rare occasion he is willing to Deus Ex the new additions to the party into the game. Even though we are in the middle of the desert. I designed the hench-cleric to be good at his job, but he will be roleplayed entirely by the GM, while a different player (chosen randomly each week) has full control over the cleric's actions in combat. The last step is to name him. Gnomey McGnome, Gimp, Meatshield and "Portable Hit-Points" were all player suggestions that were vetoed, while the GM suggested some long complex gnomey roleplaying name, which nobody wanted to remember... eventually he ended up with the incredibly and intentionally lame Donner Lifesaver which Omit suggested.

GM: So Azheron, introduce your new character.
Omit: Oh yeah, what time is it?
Azheron: About 8:15, or 8:20. My character is named Malevaune. She's a human-looking female, 'bout 160 lbs, has black hair with a white line just down the front. She has chains wrapped around her waist and one over each shoulder.
GM: Great, a Kyton. [Remember those chain-demons? Well, Malevaune isn't one, but we can see the resemblance...] Alright, so instead of the usual "interrogation", I thought we'd try something a little different. Azheron: if your character was in a situation where Balcoth was going to die, and you had the chance to save his life at the cost of your own, would you do it?
Azheron: You mean I'm committing suicide, or...
GM: If you chose to do it, there is a 100% chance that he will be saved, but a 100% chance that you will die. "ThingX" is firing a lethal Death-ray at Balcoth, but you have a chance to jump in the way.
Azheron: Can it just cast the Death-ray again?
Verian Seth: No, the enemy is just 1 PC short of it's "preset kill-limit", then it will shut down. [He is referencing the Futurama episode where Captain ZAP Brannigan is introduced].
GM: The situation is completely binary. So would you save him?
Azheron: Die to save him, 1 for 1? Probably not, I guess.
GM: Okay, what if its the same situation, but Verian Seth is in danger. Would you throw yourself in front to save him?
Azheron: I've already done that several times...

Everyone has a laugh.

Verian Seth: I think everybody's killed him by now.
GM: I haven't.

All the players stare in shock and disbelief.

GM: What?
Azheron: You made me spawn with no equipment!
GM: Just that one time. I can't believe you are still going on about that. That was like 7 Azherons ago...
Azheron: I died twice in one session!
GM: You did not.
Omit: It was actually two sessions in a row.
Azheron: Well, twice with less than one session of gameplay in between.
GM: Alright. [That is not an acknoledgement, so much as a segway...] What about you Omit? Would you die to save one of your party members?
Omit: We've already been through this. [Apparently GM has already grilled Omit about this in the week between game sessions, but it seems he wants Omit to share his response with the rest of the group.]
GM: Well?
Omit: If I have to die to do it, it depends who it is...
GM: Okay, would you die to save Balcoth?
Omit: No. Not 1 for 1. I would do it to save Verian Seth, because if the situation is that dire, he's the one most likely to be able to save the rest of the party .
GM: [Keeps his tone "enlightened" but provocative] Ah, so you are trying to look at it from the team perspective.
Omit: Yes. If it was 2 for 1, I would do it for sure. Any 2 lives are worth more than any 1.
GM: Verian Seth, would you sacrifice yourself to save Omit?
Verian Seth: Honestly, if its a 1-for-1, my character wouldn't do it. Particularly considering his greater objective. [In "interrogations", long ago, Verian Seth gave his character's goal as immortality. In his words, "It is a quest that can never be won, only lost."] But he'd would certainly die to save 2 party members. In anycase, its an unreasonable hypothetical. There's a huge difference between certain death and a high risk of death.
GM: Okay. Balcoth: what about you. Would you die to save Omit?
Balcoth: Not now... It wouldn't happen anyway. He always just runs away.
GM: Okay, lets try a different one then. Azheron, if the Death ray was coming at you, would you shove Balcoth in front, or take it yourself?
Balcoth: If that's the case, you'll be rolling up a new character soon.
Azheron: [Balcoth]'s the last of his race. [Ed: would that make it genocide?]
GM: He's not the last of his race, there are lots of other dwarves.
Verian Seth: He's just last of the player character dwarves.

Anyway, the new cleric healed Verian Seth (who revealed that he'd been down to 21.5 hit points for the last 2 fights - a slim margin for survival, which helps to explain his minimal contribution in those battles), then we managed to rest successfully, and the next day we found another demon gaining on us as we travelled. This one was a Glabrezu - a much larger demon, with two large muscular arms, and two more even larger pincer-claw arms. It was flying under the use of a spell, but rather than overtaking the party, it matched speed some 150 feet back and made telepathic contact with us - or, more specifically, Balcoth.

GM: The creature's voice in your head commands "Cease your flight..." [Ed: That's flight in the 'escape' sense, not in the literal aerial sense, since only Verian Seth is actually flying. Omit is running about a foot off the ground, which Azheron could also do if he wanted to, but regardless, he Balcoth and Lifesaver are all riding.]
Balcoth: I'll answer back "Are you a good, mediocre or evil creature?"
Verian Seth: [Finds that very funny] "I'm Lawful Mediocre." [Ed: The three main alignments are Good, Neutral and Evil (with Lawful and Chaotic subtypes). I'm sure there are a lot of "Neutral" beings out there who would feel slighted by the "mediocre" descriptor.]
GM: "I am willing to parlay..."
Balcoth: "Why would we want to talk to you?"
GM: "If you perform a service for me, I will reward you greatly."

We do stop to parlay, since it has demonstrated that it moves fast enough that we can't simply escape it. The towering demon (to summarize) wants us to go back and finish clearing out the dungeon beneath the temple that we just left. Kill the rest of the mindflayers and stuff.

GM: "I will generously forego your destruction, and I can provide you with information crucial to your mission. You," [points at Omit] "what reward would you want?"
Omit: [Ponders carefully, weighing factors in his mind...] "We will do it if you grant us three Wishes."
GM: "You know that what you ask is LUDICROUS. It is NOT a possibility."
Omit: "They wouldn't have to be all at once. One on completion, then one a year from now, and one the following year. We could wait for that." [Apparently, Omit knows exactly what is possible; specifically, that this form of demon, a Glabrezu, has the power - once per year - to grant a Wish in such bargains. Not that it WOULD for something this basic...]
GM: "Do not forget that I could simply smite you all. I am of the Tanar'ri: the Masters of the Universe. I am being gracious to offer you any reward for this.

Play stops for several moments as several players giggle, imitate the He-Man cartoon's theme, and make frivolous comments about the... poor... choice of wording. I make a motion and noise like one of the old action figures; a He-Man villain with a snake's head who sprayed water in a light mist if you depressed his head. Once we all get it out of our system, we resume the serious matter of trying to decide whether to haggle with demon-boy or just fight it (knowing that we'd probably win, but with a high risk of casualties)

GM: What of you?" [turns to Verian Seth]
Verian Seth: "I'm sure we can come up with the information elsewhere."
GM: [Ominously...] "Not in time. But what is it that you do desire?"
Verian Seth: "What I want is something that you cannot give me."
Balcoth: "Got any Boots of Flying in that sack?"
GM: [Turning interestedly to the dwarf:] "I could grant your request, in exchange for a small additional service from you..."
Balcoth: "What service?"
GM: "There is another individual who I would like to see removed."
Azheron: Your basic assassination mission.
Balcoth: "Who do you want killed?"
GM: "An individual in the city. If you would do that, after destroying the mindflayers, I could provide you not only with the item you desire, but also important information on the plight of your people..."
Balcoth: "What about my people?"
Verian Seth: It's the Quest to "unlock" dwarves as a playable race! [A common feature amongst computer games is the ability to make available new character choices through play. Don't forget that due to the fact that dwarves are essentially the best playable race in D&D 3.5, GM declared that they were no longer allowed, but that Balcoth, already being there, could obviously stay. The last player-character dwarf. Again, dwarves are VERY good. There was a significant risk that as characters died and were replaced, the party would soon end up being all dwarves.]
GM: "What I know could help you to save the dwarven race from their current plight..."
Balcoth: "The dwarves don't need any help from a demon."

The Glabrezu, already growing frustrated at our lack of enthusiasm, decides to take this as an insult. Beings of infinite self-confidence and massive pride, Glabrezu enjoy making deals with mortals and getting others to do their bidding (a trait more befitting of Devils), but they are still Demons at heart, (not Devils; in D&D there is a strict distinction) meaning they relish havoc, destruction, and above all physical combat. And so it starts combat by backing up and casting one of our favorite spells: Mirror Image.

Wow, that report got long. I'm actually going to break it into two parts. Next time (probably Friday): the Battle Report. Don't worry, even though "battle report" may sound a little bit more like it involves game mechanics and stuff, its still mostly about everybody driving each other nuts.